The Urban Gentleman

I cant help it anymore. I've got to put this down in writing or I won't be able to get it out of my mind. Did you know there is a website, nay, MANY websites dedicated to male fashion, culture, grooming, decorating, etc???? This is the one in particular I am addicted to. It is like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

Some of the topics on this website include "How to Fold a Pocket Square" (who cares?), "Interior Decor" (again, who cares?), "Manscaping 101" (which is dedicated to cutting, pruning, and yes, even waxing of male body hair), "Mens Hair Gallery" (there are only two real manly haircuts: flat top and shave the whole thing -- bald counts too I guess), "Murses and Manbags" (whatever guy makes this website, his dad must be ashamed of him), "Skincare" (in the winter my hands get extremely dry and start to bleed, so I put Vaseline on them.........I guess that counts), you get the picture.

Since when are these things that a guy should care about? I always thought that one of the benefits of being a guy was that you didn't have to care about any of them. I don't, never have, and never will. Is it considered not manly anymore to own, and wear, a toolbelt? I change my own oil, brakes, and radiator fluid.......I wonder where I fall on the manliness meter.

If this is the current state of affairs then I guess I'm glad I clearly do not fit in. I don't buy clothing, I just wear whatever happens to be in the closet or dresser........usually because my wife got thoroughly fed up and bought me some article of clothing. I shave my head as short as I can get it, because it requires literally no maintenance, and I can wash it with a bar of soap. By the way, that bar of soap that I have in my half bathroom downstairs is Lava.........now THAT is a manly soap.........takes that first layer of skin off! Interior decorating...........I still have fond memories of my last apartment where I lived by myself, where I didn't have ANY furniture. I guess I did have a futon, but that was it. No tv, chairs, table, or frills of any kind.....it was great.

Finally, I am proud to say that I have never eaten raw fish and don't ever plan to.

Websites such as this one really make me think of the speech that John Goodman gives to his football team in Revenge of the Nerds, right after they get beaten by the Tri Lams. I'm sure that whoever comes up with these ridiculous websites, they have a father who looked at them one day when they were a baby, and wished for him to become a man. Too bad it didn't happen.